For the last few months my daughter has been having a rough time on the bus rides to and from school.
This morning she came to me with tears in her eyes:
"Can I not ride the bus anymore?"
I knew in an instant that something was going on again.
"No honey, you can't hide from life."
"But yesterday was really bad and I don't want it to be like that again."
She proceeded to show me her hat I bought her for Christmas. One of those hats with an animals face on it and there are two strings that hang down from it with big pom-poms at the end. Apparently one of the boys on the bus yanked on the strings til the ball was nearly ripped off -which did make me pretty mad.
"Did you tell Miss Karen?" (Miss Karen is the bus driver)
"Well... no."
"Then obviously you don't care if people destroy your belongings."
"Mom!"
A few minutes of banter passed where I told her to quit letting people act however they want around her; to quit letting people walk all over her all the time. Then she showed me her hand, where one of her closest friends since Kindergarten raked her nails into my daughter's skin. Sure as shit, there were red nail marks on the back of her hand. I asked why and received an answer that it was unprovoked and for no reason. So I pretty much lost it.
"Someone physically hurts you and you allow it? Punch her in the face. I give you permission."
"Mom... I don't hit people."
"Did you tell Miss Karen?"
"No. I don't want to be embarrassed."
*sigh*
"Babe, you cannot let people treat you like this. Especially someone you call a friend."
She does let them though, she always has. Funny enough, though she wasn't around for my childhood, I did too. I was walked on and bullied from Elementary school through High School. It makes me sick to the core. My stomach is churning just typing this out. I am not like that now and have no issues with bullying at this point in my life probably because I was abused so much as a kid. Now, I have no tolerance for bullying, whatsoever. When I hear about it all I see is red. Blood red. I wound up getting pretty heated about it this morning and my daughter wound up crying. My daughter is a sensitive soul. She is one of those free-spirit/old souls who just wants everyone to be happy and for everyone to love each other. I love that about her. How she is so carefree and sweet. She is too young to understand that realistically a peaceful world is unattainable. If you ever heard the song "That's The Way" by Led Zeppelin, that is my song for her.
All in all, I passed the situation on to the bus driver -who just so happened to run into the girl's mother at school. Not even 20 minutes later the mom was on my front porch extending her apologies. I told her not to jump to any conclusions until she talked to her daughter about the situation. She ranted about how her daughter was grounded and she was taking away all of her toys and DVDs. I didn't feel bad even an ounce for that, but I was still feeling bad that my daughter does't know how to stand up for herself. I don't know what to do or how to get around this, but my heart is heavy. She only has 4 months left in elementary school and then she is on to junior high where it just gets harder. :(
In middle school, my brother had this one kid who would antagonize him for no reason. Tom had to get a coat this kid couldn't bite through. Riding the bus every day was awful, but now he's a good friend of ours. Bus rides are always hell, and it's best to just sit quietly, but if she has a friend she can sit with, they can protect each other. Maybe she wont defend herself, but i bet she would stand up for a friend and her friend would stand up for her.
ReplyDeleteShe does sit with another girl from the neighborhood. And apparently this other girl must not give a care. I am not sure how this has continued. :(
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