Find My Happiness

Robert Frost once spoke of taken a road less traveled... I seem to have followed that advice quite thoroughly in my life.  I've done everything backward and without a plan.  I have flown by the seat of my pants, drifted with this life's current, and have come out on the other side worse for wear.  I have been broken, bruised, a little tattered, and even a bit upside down.  Now comes another chapter. Another time where I have to make a decision that will shape my future and I don't know what to do or even how to do it.

I am a skeptic. A realist. A bit of a cynic at times... okay more than a bit.  But I am cruising on the last two semesters of my degree and I need to make the adult decision of what I want to be when I grow up.  I don't know in all honesty.  I was accepted to two Universities and I still don't know.  I think I should be aware by now... and I am so not.

I love to write. I have kept a journal since I was nine. It speaks to me; helps me breathe when I can't sometimes.  Putting a pen to a clean sheet of college ruled paper can do more for me than a hundred sessions of therapy.
I also love to read.  I find that reading is more calming for me than almost anything else.  And opening a book, smelling its pages, feeling its binding in my hands is like climbing inside the adventure.

To me, these are hobbies. Nothing more.  They are things people do for fun not for career.  Realistically I can't make real money in this economy with a BA in Journalism under my belt, even though I want to so desperately.

Some say "Do whatever makes you the most money."  I disagree. Others say "You'll never be happy so it doesn't really matter what you do."  Again I disagree. I don't care how long it takes, how many really crappy jobs I have to take, or even how poor I am til the day I die, I will never stop trying to find my version of happiness.